Thursday, July 17, 2008

Fears, Tears, and Wishes

So something has been on my mind this pregnancy that I think I should write about. To be frank I worry that my little baby boy who will be joining us in October won't be healthy. To fill my hospital environment void I've been watching the TV show Hopkins (real events that occur at Johns Hopkins Hospital) and tonight there was a little two year old boy who was having heart failure. It showed this boy getting anesthesia and intubated and I started bawling! My little Ashton has gone through that four times. We are sooooo lucky and blessed that he is developmentally where he should be. He is my little miracle and my heart and soul hurt when I remember all the physical trials he has had. I wish I could go through the pain so he wouldn't have to. It's funny, when I was pregnant with him I never once thought that he might not be healthy. I just assumed that he would be fine. Aren't most babies? ...and so after all he has been through I can't help but pray and wish that this active little baby in my tummy will be healthy. Please, please be healthy.


Brittany Owens said...

You just made me tear up. I am so grateful that my little ones have been healthy, but I had those concerns as well. I can't imagine that you will have problems again. Ashton is so cute, and he is a happy little boy. You are a tooper. By the way, you look great pregnant.

Kirst said...

I'm sorry about the pain and worry you bear. I wish I could take it away, all I can say is that for all Ashton's surgeries he is a wonderfully happy baby. I loved seeing him