Letting Go

With Ashton's first surgery coming up at the end of the month, I worried about what to do with little Isaac while I am with Ashton at the hospital. My mom with be here in June for the big surgery, so no worries there. What's difficult about it is Tyler is on nights. This means the inability to take a "day" off other than what is on the schedule...It really became difficult when the intern who covers for him on his off days would be on vacation the week of the surgery...ughhh..So Tyler tried to work it out with a few of the other iterns to get cebvbb rtain nights off and it was near IMPOSSIBLE!!!! We felt extremely frustrated when even the resident in charge of the schedule was not accomodating to our needs. It truth I wanted to make those hurt they way that I felt hurt. I wanted to write a letter to the wife of the intern who so heartlessly refused to switch Tyler his nights off simply because he did not want to hold an extra pager the next day. In that letter I wanted to say something like, " I hope that your child never has a critical surgery because it is terrifying and if one day they do I hope that your husband is able to work out his schedule with his co-workers so that he is able to be off for that surgery". Terrible, I know. I had no charity, only pain. It was eating at me, I was hurting myself. Then I decided enough was enough. I could let the actions of others influence me for good or for evil and I was choosing the later. So I decided to let go. I decided to pray for that family, that their family needs would be meant and that I could love them and serve them. It worked, it was hard at first but when I committed it was incredibly easy and I could feel my self-inflicted wound heal. All I can say is I am grateful for the gospel, grateful for what I have learned, grateful for my faith in Jesus Christ and for the power of the atonement. Grateful that I have won this little spat within myself!